Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Drunks poem an Ode To Alcohol

                        Starkle, starkle, little twink,
                        Who the hell you are I think,
                        I'm not under what they call
                        The alcofluence of incohol.
                        I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
                        I'm just a little slort of sheep.
                        Tee martoonis make a guy
                        Fool so feelish, don't know why
                        Rally don't know who's me yet
                        The drunker I stay the longer I get
                        So just one more to full my cup,
                        I've all day sober to Sunday up.



Friday, February 19, 2010

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Drunk Joke


Something's missing

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the radio, and even the accelerator," he cried out.



However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Monday, February 15, 2010

Funny Drunk Jokes:CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL WARNING

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w@nker.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember).

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

 
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.


Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Saturday, February 13, 2010